Number 211a - Year End 2000

How To Tinker Constructively
Dr. Bombay Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Oct. 4, 2000
Dear Dr. Bombay: You always write about not changing any settings unless you know what you are doing. I read in a magazine how to set swap file settings to make my computer faster. Can you tell me if it is all right? I am an avid reader of your column, and I don't want to be one of your "stupid" readers.     Thanks for the Memory     Dear Thanks: No, to qualify as a stupid reader, you'd have to be totally unwilling to learn anything at all about your computer and not have a clue about where to look for help or be too dim to use it correctly if you found it. Then you'd start whining loudly when the free advice you get doesn't work exactly as advertised because you have a different version of Windows or some junk-box PC that belongs in the Goodwill bin. And, of course, you wouldn't have enough innate intelligence to use the things you read about here to learn how to solve your own problems. Hmmm. Can you tell what my mail has been like lately?     On the other hand, I salute you, Ms. Thanks. You're not afraid to get your hands dirty but are smart enough to realize that tinkering with Windows can sometimes lead to a smoking crater where your computer used to be. That's why I always caution people about fiddling with the Registry, Windows' master settings file, where one misstep literally can kill your PC.     It's unlikely that tweaking the memory settings could ever be that destructive. You may slow your computer to a crawl, but you can always change things back.     There are two major kinds of memory in a Windows machine: random access (RAM) and make-believe (virtual memory). Programs use memory like a shelf, sticking bits of data on a it for quick retrieval. Of course the shelf is actually a bunch of chips, but you get the idea. When you run out of shelf space, Windows uses a free area of your hard drive to simulate more chips. Stuff is written to	and read from the hard disk "memory," but it's a tad slower than when RAM chips are involved.     Normally, Windows does a fair job of managing virtual memory on its own, so I generally don't mess with it. If you want to try manual settings for the heck of it, right-click on My Computer, pick Properties from the menu, then select the Performance tab, then click the Virtual Memory button. Here you can set the minimum and maximum values for the swap file, the area Windows will use to simulate RAM. Pick whatever number of megabytes you think you'll need. Some people recommend two or three times the amount of RAM you have, although I wouldn't use more than half the available disk space.     Also, set the minimum and maximum the same size so Windows won't waste time dynamically resizing the swap file. And, since you're depending on a large chunk of your hard drive to create fake memory, run a Defrag on the disk first. In simplest terms, that puts all the free space in one spot rather than scattered all over the disk, making access to it quicker for all the mechanical parts.     If you've got the bucks, though, boost your RAM. That way, you don't have to use much virtual memory.     The above instructions work just fine on a Win98 SE machine. Anyone writing in to complain that a tab was misnamed or that an expected button doesn't exist in a different version of Windows should be advised that his or her letter will be forwarded immediately to the stupid reader pile. Go read a book.     Write noted computerologist Dr. Emilio Bombay at Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Box 1870, Fort Worth, TX 76101. Fax: 390-7257. Just try not to tick him off again this week. Please. Send comments to drbombay@star-telegram.com.
Number 211a - Year End 2000